FATHER FRANK’S RANTS - Hanging Jesus

Rant Number 503     30 August 2012

The British killed Jesus. I kid you not. The British authorities hanged the Messiah as a seditious troublemaker, a rebel, as the head of a revolutionary cult. Had you been alive in 1903, and in Sudan, you would have seeing it, with your own eyes: Jesus’ public execution by the British.

The ‘Jesus’ in question was not of course the Christ of Christianity. He was an Arab called Sharif Muhammad al-Amin. A Sudanese Muslim. A pretender to the title of nabi ‘Issa, Arabic for ‘Prophet Jesus’. One of more than fourteen claimants to the title who arose in Sudan after the British destroyed the Dervishes at Omdurman in 1898. Muhammad Ahmad, the charismatic Mahdi of Sudan and General Gordon’s great rival, had died suddenly after the conquest of Khartoum. It stunned his fervent, warlike followers. How could the Mahdi, the Prophet’s successor, just die? Before he had achieved his universal mission?

There is no answer to that. But Jesus provided the next chapter in the dramatic scenario. ‘Prophet Jesus’, mind you. Again, not quite the Christian Jesus, the Good Shepherd, the risen Lord, the Saviour of the New Testament. Jesus’ status is entrenched in the Qur’an butonly as a prophet – and indeed as al-Masih, the Messiah – but no more than that. Despite his virgin birth, his speaking from the cradle, his miracles, his raising of the dead, all that, the Qur’an won’t budge. Jesus is a mere man. That flatly contradicts the Christian Scriptures. The two religions will forever disagree over it. Pity.

The Qur’an, however, in surah al-Zukhruf, v. 61, obscurely alludes to a second coming of Jesus on earth. The meaning is disputed but definitely Jesus is called ‘a sign of the Hour’, meaning the Day of Judgment. An apocalyptic portent, no less. The various Sudanese nabi ‘Issa fighting the colonialist infidels must have found that congenial. Al-Mahdi dead and buried, a Prophet Jesus returning triumphant from Heaven was an acceptable second best.

The British did not play along. Apart from hanging al-Amin, they threw other ‘Jesuses’ in jail. While a few got released as harmless lunatics. It figures. Such is the fate of would-be prophets...

You can’t quite blame Christians (unlike today, the British just still qualified back then) for being unimpressed by a popped-up Muslim Jesus. Of course, belief in the Second Coming of the Lord is an article of faith for the Nazarenes. The Catholic Creeds proclaim it. The faithful mouth it every time they partake of the sacred mysteries, Holy Communion: ‘Christ will come again’, we profess. How imminent such glorious event may be, that’s another question. Jesus himself disclaimed precise knowledge of the time or the hour (St Mark 13: 32). A tantalising enigma, folks!

Nonetheless, spiritual persons have explored the idea. Most famous is that sublime Christian writer, Fyodor Dostoevsky. In Brothers Karamazov, the terrible episode of the Grand Inquisitor. He has Christ come back in Spain, in the city of Seville, in the days of the Inquisition, when heretics are burnt. Jesus appears, he walks the streets, he again performs wonderful miracles, heals the blind, raises a dead girl, the people recognise him, go crazy with love, adore him as the Son of God until...The dreaded figure of the Chief Inquisitor appears. A ghastly-looking, dreadful old man. Looks sternly on the returned Messiah, then commands his guards to arrest him. The crowd are frightened. Jesus does not resist, he is meek and silent. The guards lead him away into a dungeon.

Read the story yourself. The Inquisitor visits Jesus in his cells. A long monologue follows. Jesus does not speak a word. The Inquisitor does. ‘Why have you come back? We will burn you at the stake tomorrow’, he says, proffering his dark reasons why that has to be.

Dostoevsky’s fantasy is profound, if far-fetched. In the novel, the angelic monk Alyosha questions its sense. Never mind, it grips the imagination. What indeed if the Second Coming, Jesus’ return, suddenly happened? Not amidst blast of trumpets and supernatural wonders literally depicted in apocalyptic literature, but in a more ordinary, natural, everyday fashion, in today’s world? What if?

Sunday morning at the parish church. The congregation is gathered, mild, well-meaning, a bit distracted. The Vicar carries on with his dull sermon. Many stifle a yawn, scratch their head, think of the Sunday joint, others of their partners, male or female or third sex. A few really listen and meditate pious thoughts. Suddenly...a presence! Jesus walks in! How do they know it’s him? They just do...old ladies drop their sticks, children rejoice, the choir sing ‘Alleluya!’ Vicar gets heart attack...well, maybe.

What do the bishops and priests say and do? They are terrified. Jesus really is back. Why? Not needed... ‘Are we going to be out of a job?’ The Messiah does not fool around. He scalds the Church. Bromide, PC, secular Christians, would not please him. He won’t kill anyone, no, but he will sorely reproach the Church of England: ‘You are neither hot nor cold. I shall spew you out of my mouth!’

And politics? 10 Downing Street. Bland Dave and boring Nick: ‘Well, welcome back, Christ. Have back your job but remember: What is Caesar is Caesar’s. Keep religion for you and your sheep. Leave politics to us.’ Guess Jesus would laugh out a cosmic, divine laugh: ‘Oh, yes? The Son of God come back to earth sticking to religion alone? Do you think my Father, the Almighty, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, only cares for the Sunday morning slot? Fools! You have got it coming! The Messiah takes over now. The Day of the Lord is upon you! Prepare yourself for judgment! For you it will be darkness and not light!’

You got my drift. That is why, I suppose, the powers that be, the scoundrels that rule us, dread the Second Coming above all things. And well they should.

Back to Sudan. I like this Muslim prophecy: ‘At the end of time (Akhr al-Zaman) the English will come to you. There will be no deliverance, except through the coming of Jesus’.

©Revd Frank Julian Gelli