FATHER FRANK’S RANTS - The Pope: a Turkish Defence

Rant Number 392 8 April 2010

‘The Pope is Europe’s last hope.’

Boy! What a statement! Especially coming from Tamer, a Turk and a Muslim. It made me sit up.

You are pulling my leg. Surely you have heard of the child abuse scandal...

‘Who hasn’t? Here in Turkey we are lapping it up. Yet, I repeat it: without the Pope, you Europeans are finished.’

Bit perverse, Tamer. Don’t get it. How can you justify evil? The mystery of innocent suffering...

‘Frank, in Islam we believe Allah has created us for his own reasons. To do his will. Shaitan – Satan – only does evil by Allah’s permission. Innocent or not innocent, God is testing all of us. There is no mystery about evil. God allows it as a manifestation of his purposes. And no atheist has the right to ask why.’

A tough theodicy. It impelled me to prod my friend further.

The question is that some clergy – men devoted to divine service – have done terrible things to children. How can that be justified?

‘In Islam we would know how to deal with such people, clergy or not. The problem is that you Europeans no longer believe in proper punishment. Allah will make the perverts suffer in Jehannum – the hereafter – of course, but the guilty must be chastised in this world as well. The indignation people feel would be lessened if they knew the perpetrators were hanged. Or worse. I’d hand them over to the children’s families. We had a case of an Imam in our country...he interfered with a child. The family massacred him. Served him right.’

You are a hard man, Tamer. The EU forbids capital punishment, anyway. But still, the poor victims...

‘Frank, get real. I watched some interviews with victims of abuse on TV. A man swore he was horribly traumatised. Yet he was married, had children, a family. If abuse really had traumatised so much, would he have been able to have a family life? And that guy in Ireland who now heads some ibneler (homosexual) group. Abuse can’t make people gay. He must have been gay in the first place, no?’

Not so sure about that. I knew at least one gay guy who told me men of Sodom had corrupted him. True or not, sexual abuse remains a terrible thing.

‘Yes, Frank. But listen. Abuse takes many forms. You remember the sanctions imposed on Iraq? 500.000 Iraqi children died. As a result of being deprived of proper nutrition. 500.000! Half a million infants and kids. I’d call that abuse, and worse, much worse than abuse. Why isn’t there a Nuremberg Trial for the politicians responsible? Why aren’t your lying, hypocritical Western media asking for the culprits’ prosecution? That satanic woman, Madeleine Albright, then American Secretary of State, declared the children’s deaths were “a price worth paying”. The unnatural monster! She should be in jail. Why isn’t she? And her boss, Clinton, too.’

I remember the atrocious story. The 500.000 figure was in two UNICEF reports. Studies about child mortality rates. Especially in the South of Iraq. Although some claim the figure is misinterpreted and exaggerated. Also, the experts say not everything depended on sanctions. Saddam...

‘I see, Frank. You blame Saddam. But who supported him for years in the war on Iran? You, the West. Also, you are arguing about numbers. What would you Europeans say of someone who started disputing the exact figures of what you call the Jewish Holocaust, eh? Would you approve of that?’

We should leave the Jews out of this, Tamer. As that naive Vatican preacher, Fr Cantalamessa, has learnt, it does no one any good. By the way, I am not a living synecdoche. A walking embodiment of the ‘West’ or ‘Europe’, as you keep calling me. As a Christian, I have plenty of disagreement with the democratic gangsters who rule us today. I never supported the sanctions. As for Ms Albright, may God reward her accordingly. I never had any time for her or for Clinton.

‘Didn’t mean to offend, Frank. I know you would never have wanted the Iraqi children to die.’

Absolutely. The massacre of the innocent. It was a great crime. Its scale and outcome cannot compare with the child abuse by priests. Still, the latter problem remains.

‘The thing is, when we had Greeks in Turkey, we used to joke about the dissolute Greek priests, the papaz. Wine and women, that’s what they were doing, hiding behind their beards. Bad things with children we never imagined. Strange, eh?’

Perhaps. But I must get back to your amazing starting line. “The Pope as Europe’s last hope.” Please, explain.

‘Well, Frank, it’s simple. Europe is dying. European birth rates, it’s all about that. Your people are getting older. Not enough babies are being born. More die than are born. We Turks – well not me, but I hear people say that “we’ll beat the Europeans by breeding.” There was no point for Kara Mustafa to besiege Vienna three centuries ago. We’ll soon conquer it and all the rest by demography. Do you see? I know many Europeans fear for Europe’s future. They are right. Their men and women are not doing their job. They got too selfish. And stupid. Their race is committing suicide. They should start having babies as a patriotic duty, that’s it.’

But what has the Pope got do with it?

‘Frank, it’s obvious. His teaching. People should have babies. The Catholic Church condemns abortion. And contraceptives. The greatest baby-killers. The Pope says it’s a sin. He is right. If people listened to him, Europe would have a future. As it is, it hasn’t.’

A sanguine view, dear friend. You defending this Pope. Extraordinary. Did he not say something unkind about the Prophet? And he doesn’t want Turkey in the EU, does he?

‘No Pope will ever be friendly with Turks. Or with Prophet Muhammad. He cannot be. He hates us. We know that. It makes no difference. I was speaking impartially. From the viewpoint of Europe’s objective interests. Fear not, Turkey will make it into Europe. No Pope can’t stop it. Constantinople was the first to fall. Rome will be next. There is a hadith to that effect. It will happen, insh’allah.’

Huh! Geert Wilders and Nick Griffin sure would lap that up! But you never know when Tamer is joking or not. Anyway, he makes you think.

Revd Frank Julian Gelli