(or have a laugh!)
(if it was not so serious)
ARMENIAN ARMY DEVELOPS NEW METHOD OF FIGHTING WITH EGGS
Today
March 30 2010
Azerbaijan
Interesting things are happening in Armenia. Local politicians love
to make belligerent statements against everyone.
They will either declare Turkey's borders "invalid" and will require
the world to force Turkey to give part of its territory to the
long-suffering Armenia or, failing to achieve the opening of the
Upper Lars checkpoint, will incite separatism in Javakheti. Armenian
President Serzh Sargsyan will make strong statements. Recently, he said
from the rostrum of the London Chatham House that the "Karabakh people"
are ready to defend their cross-stones with weapons. He reiterated
the same threats in an interview with the French newspaper Le Figaro,
saying that Armenia does not want war but is ready to fight.
It is necessary to remind Sargsyan that the conflict that has lasted
for more than 20 years was ignited by the Armenian side. It was
Armenia that began ethnic cleansing in the region and, with the
capture of Shusha and Lachin by the Armenian forces, the conflict
moved from local clashes to full-scale war. As a result, it is Armenia
that holds 20 percent of Azerbaijan's lands under occupation, and,
in general, countries that do not wish war, do not behave like that
and their presidents do not voice such statements. London analysts
did not conceal that they were also disappointed with the tone and
content of Sargsyan's Chatham House speech. Similarly, the French
public gave an adequate assessment of his interview with Le Figaro.
The reason is simple. No one expects such statements from Armenia
and its president. Even desperate Armenian lobbyists in European
capitals admit that unlike Azerbaijan with its oil and gas reserves
and Georgia, which has become an important communications hub, Armenia
is of interest to the world only in the sense that there would be no
war in this country located in a region as strategically important
as the South Caucasus.
On this backdrop, Armenia's Defense Minister Seyran Ohanian decided
to act as a peacemaker. It is a rhetorical question whether Ohanian,
one of the orchestrators of the Khojaly massacre and former commander
of a battalion of 366 Regiment, fit for the role of "a dove of
peace." At the Rose Roth seminar of the NATO Parliamentary Assembly
in Yerevan, he said that his country is opposed to an "arms race"
in the region and in no way intends to participate in it. According
to the minister, the emphasis should be placed not on a quantitative,
but on a qualitative indicator of the army.
It is unclear what Mr. Ohanian had in mind when speaking of "quality
growth" especially against the background of mass migration of
families where there are conscript youth from Armenia. But military
experts know that talks of commissars on valor and fighting spirit
are senseless. Today no one doubts that Gaulle was right when he said
wars are won in the rear.
Such talks can make a lasting impression on Yerevan housewives who,
accidentally switching from soap operas to news program, may hear
something frightening about Azerbaijan's military budget, which
exceeded the entire state budget of Armenia. And they may begin to
ask whether it would be better to negotiate with Azerbaijan on an
amicable way until Baku has run out of patience.
Frankly, Ohanian's statements that he personally will not be involved
in the arms race remind one of the famous parable of a fox and grapes.
The fox calls the grapes sour because it cannot reach them. Mr.
Ohanian knows better that Armenia has neither strength nor financial
capacity to participate in an arms race.
Amid Ohanian's statements criticizing an arms race, the Armenian
National Statistics Service published a report, according to which
prices on consumer goods and services in Armenia increased 10 percent
on average. Fish products have risen in price more than anything - 60
percent - and sugar by 34 percent. Only prices on eggs saw a decline,
as much as 12 percent.
Moreover, this report does not include the latest data on a significant
increase in prices on public utilities like gas, water and electricity.
In short, we can only advise Mr. Ohanian to add a new military
discipline to combat training for Armenian conscripts - throwing eggs
at the enemy and then declaring these eggs the new secret weapon of
the Armenian army and announcing that the capability to "fight with
the eggs" of the Armenian army is a 100 times greater than those
of Azerbaijan.
By the way, the eggs marked the "Defense Ministry" have appeared
in Yerevan shops. So, it is possible that experiments have already
started.
ARMENIANS MAY PROVOKE WAR OVER KARABAKH
Day.Az
March 24 2010
Azerbaijan
About three years ago I was chatting with a military expert from a
country in the west who was an officer of an alliance of some kind,
not just an ordinary soldier, but someone who was certainly well
informed. He spent a long time complaining about "militarism". The
whole dreariness of the world community, which was supposedly
completely and utterly objective in its mediation and its desire to
resolve the Karabakh problem, was presented in all its glory.
We, of course, know that one of a journalist's main qualities should
be to have an almost child-like curiosity. Looking at the expert
with all the innocence of the eyes of a 30-year old, I asked him:
"So, if there is going to be a war, who will win?" His reply came as
a surprise, even to me. He claimed that Azerbaijan had a minimum of
tens of thousands of assault troops (a precise number exists, but
I will maintain a discreet silence on that score), who are trained
at the highest level and could within two weeks reach the Armenian
border from the unoccupied part of Agdam or Fuzuli districts, unless,
of course, they were ordered to advance further. Let me repeat,
I am not talking about a regular army, but trained assault troops,
to whom it would not be appropriate to extend the principle "One at
altitude against five attackers from below".
I re-checked my companion's information at official level. After the
usual silence it was later confirmed by independent experts and even
those who showed opposition at most to the authorities and at least
to the Defence Ministry.
I will not itemize all of Azerbaijan's armaments and weaponry. It
was enough to have been in last year's parade in Azadliq Square [in
Baku], but even then by no means everything was shown and not the
most terrible weapons. After all, the parade was for our benefit,
and not the Armenians. But recently I have come to understand the
hysteria of the Armenians with regard to "Azerbaijan's bellicose
statements". But what can they do after all, the threat is a real,
a tangible one, so to speak.
Armenian war preparations
I wrote recently that the Armenians have been busy digging trenches in
Karabakh. Let me repeat, this information is 100-per cent accurate. An
Armenian counterpart, who has perfectly good eyesight, has seen this
new line of defence for himself. He said the reason for it was because
the Armenians are preparing to repel an attack, whereas I believe the
Armenians are preparing to de-occupy Azerbaijani territories. Whose
prediction will be proved true is a 50-50 question, but I would go
for mine.
The other day the [Armenian] Hraparak newspaper wrote that they
are busy preparing for war in Nagornyy Karabakh. It said that all
young people who had reached adulthood had already undergone medical
examinations, the basements of local hospitals had been cleared out
and beds laid out, first-aid medicines were being purchased and the
population was stocking up on food and water.
Those who agree with the idea of a forthcoming de-occupation believe
that the Armenian leaders are scaring all and sundry about a possible
war, so that if territories are returned the people can breathe easily:
the danger is over, peace is the main thing, is what they are saying.
More subtle specialists and near-experts believe that by declaring a
"patriotic war", in which not just the regular army will take part, but
the population as well, official Yerevan is covering up its inevitable
defeat should hostilities break out. The idea is that it would not be
[Armenian President Serzh] Sargsyan and the military junta as a whole
who would be defeated, but the whole nation. Another excuse for 95
years of mourning [since the 1915 Armenian genocide]?
They are tying to say that the Armenians are innocent, and all this
is the devilry of "cruel monsters" who beat the beautiful and the
misunderstood. So long as Sargsyan is in power a solution to the
conflict exists.
It was here that the experts analysing the "preparation for war"
apparently concluded their suppositions and restricted their
predictions. But I will venture to go further.
Not "hot air"
First, (proceeding from what has already been said), the Armenians do
have something and someone to fear. Azerbaijan's "aggressive rhetoric"
is by no means just hot air. If they didn't know, they wouldn't be
afraid; if they weren't afraid, they wouldn't spread slander.
Secondly, at this precise moment we and the Armenians have reached the
crossroads: it's either peace or war. We will decide this year. Time
is short.
Thirdly, aware of all this, the Armenian generals may turn to
provocation. We have always considered the option of a possible attack
by our troops on the occupying forces, but it is rare that anyone
contemplates the option of a strike from the other side. But it is a
real possibility. It cannot be ruled out that the Armenians will turn
to provocation. Of course, they are not guaranteed military success,
but the talks will be wrecked. And the junta, which has gorged itself
on a war, might choose this path, whether led by President Sargsyan
or without him.
Let us at least assume they will experiment. This very same officer
of the alliance claimed that within another week, that is a total of
three from the start of an attack, our troops could be in Yerevan. We
will speak about the CSTO [Collective Security Treaty Organization]
next time.
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