FATHER FRANK’S RANTS - A Religion...

Rant Number 515     21 November 2012

‘A religion which had priestesses would not be the Christian religion’ wrote C.S. Lewis. (He was gunning for paganism, of course.) Is he turning in his grave, I wonder, now that his beloved Church of England almost agreed to women bishops?

The priest is in shock! Shock and horror! 324 members of the Anglican General Synod actually voted for female bishops!? How could that be? Am I living inside a dream? Or rather, a nightmare? Could 324 lunatics and mischief-makers have infiltrated a Christian body to rule it? Demonic possession, jinns or what? Verily, what a mad, mad, mad world!

Before the vote the valiant Henry Bonsu interviewed me on Colourful Radio. I failed to predict this horror, although I displayed enough foresight to warn about the insidious nature of the Anglican Synod, obviously an assembly of the sons and daughters of Belial – the fallen angel of impurity in Milton’s Paradise Lost. (Less poetically, Synod members could just be religious nitwits.)

What is special about my genes, as a Mensch, someone provocatively asked me. Only a male can represent Christ as a priest? A question worthy of Richard Dawkins. Also a telling case of what philosophers call a category mistake. Mixing concepts belonging different logical spheres. Compare ‘she came home in car’ with ‘she came home in flood of tears’. Are two means of locomotion meant? Nah! The latter statement is about the emotional state she is in, while the former specifies her manner of conveyance, two very different categories. To assimilate conceptually one to the other only raises a dust.

Similarly, genes, biology or genetics do not belong to arguments about priesthood. Spirituality is not a matter of human DNA (or of men’s cojones). Yet spirituality is the real issue. ‘What is spirituality?’ I was prodded. Answer: look at the Bible, chiefly at the New Testament. Its teachings, invitations and commands are normative. The Holy Spirit, the divine breath suffusing the sacred text, conveys the true meaning of spirituality. Women and men are equal in baptism but they are not the same in all respects, the Word of God teaches. Hence John and Mary’s roles are complementary, yet not the same. Ministries also differ in the NT but...just mug up the stuff.

No, it is not a matter of genes. Yet, there is something called fittingness in religious symbolism. Water, a natural element which stands for cleansing and purification, is right and proper in baptism. Could vinegar equally be used? Or paraffin? Or ordure? If not, why not? Why did the Church for a long time refuse ordination to a man who had killed another man? Why was it unfitting for a priest to be a killer, a shedder of blood? And Christ was a man. Would it be fitting to have crucifixes with a female figure nailed to it? If not, why not?

Some reasons for not having women clerics won’t do. So the Bishop who ordained me, Graham Leonard, subsequently a Catholic priest, said if he had seen a woman at the altar he would have felt urged to go and embrace her. Wallahi! Today that would be tantamount to abuse! Was Graham oversexed? Call me unkind, I have got to say this: given the looks of the average female cleric, I’d be more tempted to run a mile in the opposite direction!

Of course, the children of Belial care as much as my dog does about spirituality or fittingness. The Synod voted according to pre-established democratic rules but the air is thick with shouts of outrage. Not regarding the 324 erring Synod members but about the 122 brave enough to oppose them. Labour MP ‘Dearie’ Ben Bradshaw even calls for force to be used. Parliament should intervene and impose bishopesses unto the Church, he demands. Shades of Thomas Beckett’s martyrdom? Will angry MPs burst into cathedrals and slay at the altar the naughty sheep unwilling to stomach petticoat shepherds? The mind boggles.

Some fascists now clamour for the Synod vote to be overturned, either by Parliament or by a cabal of six Synod panjandrums. Democracy, it seems, is OK only if it delivers what the majority likes. Otherwise, you’ve got to think again, folks!

The truly sad case is Rowan Williams, ABC. This allegedly intelligent and spiritual theologian claims the vote has shown the Church is ‘out of touch’. Unbelievable! Out of touch with whom? With the mass of Brits who today know nothing of God and care nothing about His laws and ordinances? Out of touch with a culture, a country which practices regular abortion, fornication and sexual abuse? Which is based on the exploitation of the many by the few? Which engages in invasions of foreign countries? Which is basically returned to idol-worship? Which has collapsed back into paganism? Which cares chiefly about the betting shop, the lottery, football, moronic TV shows, drugs and booze? Is that the culture he wishes to be in touch with? If so, it shows he has been too long in the wrong job, as he clearly has failed to evangelise the English people, as was his duty. He should officially become a Druid, the grim, bloody religion of his Welsh heathen ancestors. He would fit in well there.

Rowan’s flaccid argument was also marshalled in 1993 when the Synod voted for women priests. To be ‘credible’ to a secular, feminist culture, to get people into church that was loudly proclaimed necessary. Well, nine years since female ordination, nothing has changed. People still shun the Church. Worse, the C of E’s slide into irrelevance has grown apace. Women bishops will only aggravate that process further.

Yet, I am not a pessimist. Women will save Christianity. As they were essential in spreading the faith in the early centuries, so they will be again. The Book of Revelation’s bold prophecy of a woman ‘clothed with the sun, seated on the moon, crowned with twelve stars’ and of her holy child augurs well in the darkness of our time. Women, pious, holy ladies, to the Church’s rescue, please!

Revd Frank J. Gelli